15 February 2001

MARRIAGE

A STATEMENT BY ALOYSIUS CARDINAL AMBROZIC
MADE WITH THE SUPPORT OF
THE Assembly of Catholic Bishops of Ontario

Marriage, the committed union between a man and a woman with its inherent capacity for bringing children into the world, is an obvious and essential part of society. We may talk about it as an abstract concept, but its reality is people, particular, specific people, the people who are husbands and wives, caring for the people who are the children to whom they have given birth. They are members of our own families, our friends, our co-workers, our neighbours. They may be fellow-members of our own communities or they may be part of communities in distant parts of the globe.

As culturally and ethnically diverse as the Toronto area is, and this region has certainly welcomed people from every part of the planet, married couples are clearly recognizable among every tradition and community. We see the union of husband and wife and the birth and rearing of children among our extended families, neighbours, friends, and colleagues, wherever they or their ancestors may have been born. When a man and a woman decide to marry, the customs of their extended families may be similar or very different. Whatever their backgrounds and traditions, and however they may choose to celebrate and live the new bond, they and the rest of society recognize the commitment as a marriage because it is the public union of the lives of a man and a woman with the capacity to bring forth and rear children.

The bond between husband and wife, and between them and their children, is deep and loving. It carries the obligations and responsibilities of interdependency and care with joy, with conscientiousness, and often with courage. The complementarity and the natural biological capacities of male and female human beings, as well as the long-term stability that marriage promotes for the rearing of their children, are readily and empirically observable by anyone. Those who are believers see in marriage the manifestation of God?s creation of humanity ?in his own image; male and female he created them.? Out of the natural, complementary difference of man and woman, marriage creates a new unity in which we see a fullness of the image of God in humanity that neither man nor woman can show forth without the other.

It is because of this shared responsibility and care through interdependency, particularly through the care for and the rearing and education of children, that society, acting through government, recognizes and protects marriage. It provides an essential service to society as a whole, since it provides care, education and support to children. Other societal institutions may help in various ways, but none can replace what parents do if they live according to their calling. As Pope John Paul II put it, speaking of their responsibility as the first educators of their children, "their role...is so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it".1

There are many in society who never marry, and married people whose union does not generate children, but the protection and recognition given to marriage and its capacity for childbearing, and thus to the commitment and work of parents, benefits them as well. Parents bring forth, care for and educate the coming generations of Canadians and of citizens of every country of the world. Upon them, not only society as a whole, but every living older person will one day depend. Those who are children today will carry forward the work which provides the necessities of life for all of us. We are, let us not forget, all somehow dependent at both ends of the cycle of life. Even before that later time comes, however, the participation of each generation in society, whether it be in public affairs, economic activity, educational institutions, the sciences or anywhere else, is one of interdependency. Those who are older contribute experience and perspective; those who are younger contribute energy; both contribute their knowledge, skills and commitment. This is teamwork which all need, and from which all derive great good.

There are, of course, other bonds of love and interdependency, of commitment and mutual responsibility, which are supported by society. They may be good; they may be recognized in law. They are not marriage, but that does not make them nothing; they are simply something else. The bond of parent and child is profound and is created to last a lifetime; it, too, carries mutual responsibilities, rights and obligations. Bonds between siblings and between grandparent and grandchild are deep, real, permanent, and may often also carry their own sorts of social, legal and moral rights, responsibilities and commitments. Friends may be deeply committed and may care for one another over many years. It may be that a broader spectrum of long-term commitments of interdependency does deserve formal public recognition and support than has been the case until now. The point here, however, is that there is more than one kind of relationship of mutual commitment and interdependency. All are valued, and may receive the protection of society. Marriage, the union of a man and a woman with its capacity for bringing forth children, is one, essential to society and of benefit to all. Other relationships of interdependency, being different, are given different names and recognized in different ways. They are good, but they are not the same; language and law reflect that objectively observable fact.

So what makes the commitment between a man and a woman a marriage? First, they must be free to marry. That means they must be of age, psychologically and otherwise capable of making the commitment, and there must not be an already-existing marriage to someone else or other impediment. In other times, when most people lived all their lives in small communities, the Church could rely on publication of banns to establish the freedom to marry. It no longer does, because in the large, mobile urban centres of today, no one in a parish may have any idea what the past relationships of an individual have been. The Church now relies on recent copies of baptismal certificates, since records of all marriages or other relevant events are sent to the parish where a person was originally baptized. In this way a person's freedom can be established, even if he or she now lives on the other side of the world. For the state, this is one of the purposes of a marriage license. Even when banns were used, of course, they did nothing to establish a new marriage, any more than a marriage license or a recent baptismal certificate does today. They merely establish the freedom to marry. Either person could walk away before the wedding, and there would be no marriage.

What makes a marriage is the free and public exchange of consent, the "I do." The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that "makes the marriage." If consent is lacking there is no marriage.2 The same principle is shared by other religious bodies and by the law of Canada. There must be no coercion or undue pressure from any source. The man and the woman must clearly understand what a shared life with one another means, the depth and the seriousness of the commitment that they are undertaking. To Roman Catholics, the man and the woman confer the sacrament of marriage upon one another in the sight of God and in the sight of the community which witnesses it. The two, equal in their personal dignity, freely choose the mutual love and commitment, the unity and the openness to life, that are this marriage.

Marriage deserves the protection, affirmation and respect of the state and of all of society. Its distinct and essential nature does not change with culture or with the passage of time. It is not the only form of validly interdependent and committed bond, but it has a particular reality and a particular task in the service of all of us. It must be protected; its unique reality must continue to be recognized and supported in practice, custom and law. The Holy Father simply speaks the truth: "The future of humanity passes by way of the family".3

1. Pope John Paul II: Familiaris Consortio, Section 36

2. The Catechism of the Catholic Church,   Section 1626

3. Pope John Paul II: Familiaris Consortio, Section 86